Never Say Never

Yesterday was the first sunny Friday we've had, so Kara and I went and laid in the sun. Glorious. That is how I completely relax, I discovered. This week we had 64 people total. Big week. It turned out to be a great. Eric began the week asking the adult leaders why they were here and what they wanted to see happen this week. All agreed that they wanted to serve and see God change lives. Mission accomplished. Beginning with that attitude set the tone for the week. The adult leaders and the participants were so much fun. Super artsy, too, I might add--we went through so much paper because they drew little pictures all the time. It was overcast and in the 60s all week and rainy one day, but it was nice to work in cooler weather, especially the crews that were outside. Funny story. We went through the student evaluations on Friday morning and one of the kid's under Site Name, which is Duluth, wrote Physical Labor. Ha! We lost it. Our prayer partner's name is Dave, also known as Fun Size Dave, because another adult leader was King Size Dave. Fun Size is our prayer partner. He worked with YW and then has taken his kids on numerous trips. These men love their job, have great stories, and love junior high kids. God has given them a righteous and incredible passion and they do their job well. I'm sure you can tell which one is which. I cannot believe it's July and it's broken 80 like once. I have a feeling the mild weather will make this summer fly by even more, because I'm like waiting for it to be super hot but by the time it gets super hot, if at all, I'll be leaving!

I FINALLY bought The Fray's new album last week and have learned most of the words by listening to the cd over and over again in the car and in my free time. The song Never Say Never has become a favorite of mine and Kara's. One day we had to drive about an hour and a half total around town to visit ministry sites and we listened to the song 8 times. Not joking. It's become our theme song of the summer. Eric hates The Fray, but watch us care!

Kara and I had our first fight. It turned out to be really funny, though. John came through the kitched right after and we told him we had our first fight and he was like, Really? That's awesome! I want to hear about it! Kara and John had their first fight like 2 weeks ago, so we were all waiting for this one. So here's what happened. Thursdays are crazy dinner night because it's grill out plus leftovers. We have hamburgers, hot dogs, fruit, pasta, pizza. Everything compiled from the week. I would consider myself a generally laid back person, but I have especially discovered this summer that I am a straight up Control Freak when it comes to certain things. Exhibit A: I have a certain way of setting up the salad bar every night and I'm good at it and it looks good. So on Thursdays, John grills, I do salad bar and Kara does the rest. For some reason, we were just stepping on each other's toes and the kitchen was so stressful. We were snapping at each other and it just was not working. As soon as all the kids left, we were like Ok. What just happened? We both realized we are control freaks in the kitchen and we can't be in there at the same time. And we both don't like to leave things stewing so we just had to come out and deal with it. Things were said like Well you did this! Which I would respond with Well if you would just let me do my job it would be fine! All ended well, we ended up laughing and hugging and it was all good.

God has a funny way of teaching us basic lessons. I have found that I am having to learn, on different levels, the same lessons and principles that I am emphasizing to the kids in my talks every week. My Monday night talk is about Fame and how we like to control how we're seen and we want people to see the best of us. The main point of the message is that You are good enough exactly as you are because Jesus says so--You've always been good enough. That is something that I've had to accept personally. I read a verse in Thessalonians this week that said something to the effect of God does not call us to be perfect, but rather to be holy. I get perfection and holiness confused way too often. I get so concerned with being as perfect and impressive as a I can in hopes that I will be impressive as a follower of Christ. But, as I had to write out multiple times this week to jam it into my brain--I am human. I will mess up. I wll disappoint. And that's ok. I am human. To me, weakness is failure and failure is weakness. But as a human, I am weak and I will fail. And by accepting that, it acknowledges that I need Jesus, who is ultimate strength and ultimate victory. I think one of my insecurities is rejection and so somehow it's ingrained in me to be perfect. But the fact is that I am a control freak sometimes, especially when it comes to being in the kitchen or that I like to be the one who organizes the fridge after we go grocery shopping because I do it a certain way and it looks nice, even if it comes off as annoying or domineering. I am super organized and think months in advance, so much so that I know where I'm going for Thanksgiving and Christmas already. And it doesn't matter if that's weird or annoying to other people because that's who I am and how I roll. But my family and friends still love me, the staff still loves me, and Jesus still wants me to be like Him, follow Him, and do His work on earth among all of my shortcomings and imperfections. There's always something to be learning...

As much as I miss everyone and my girls, I needed to get away and get distance to reevaluate my life. I realize how much pressure I put on myself at Taylor and even in my family, and it's been nice to take a step back and look at the source of that and give it back to Jesus. Refocus, if you will. :-)

This week we'll have 75 total. That's 13 boxes of Mac and Cheese instead of 10. It's one of our bigger groups. 3 weeks down. 5 to go. It's going to fly by.
Pray for:
-Energy and patience.

-Love for the kids in the short time that they're with us.

-The boldness and courage to be weak.

Much love.